Men tend to need physical contact to verify their relationships, while women tend to need an emotional connection to validate theirs. Men need that tactile moment that will break the emotional barrier for them and women need emotional stimulation to break the ice with them. Men are more visual and women are more auditory. You can see the conflict that arises and why it seems harder for men to create a friendship with a woman than visa versa. For the visual person it can be hard.
Even if you are a visual person and cannot change your initial reaction to external stimuli, you can become a seeker of emotional intimacy before you dive into the physical realm. To help achieve emotional intimacy, thereby becoming a better friend, you need to nurture your partner's soul by honoring him / her and validating who your partner is. Here are a few ways to do that: ? Open the door for your partner.
? Pull the chair out for your partner. ? Help your partner put their coat on. ? Go to an important event that celebrates your partner, such as a game or a party. ? For men, surprise her by cleaning the bathroom or doing other household chores without any outside prompting. ? For women (assuming you know about cars and how to fix them and your partner isn't a car freak), why not change the oil as a surprise or cut the lawn? ? Take an interest in a hobby that your partner loves, even if you don't find it appealing.
? Involve your partner in things that you normally wouldn't include him / her in. ? Compliment your partner often. ? Stay in bed with your partner in the morning, gently running your hands across his / her body and watching your partner wake up. This will send a message that you find your partner very attractive and you will go all the way to the end zone with this maneuver! It's very sexy! ? Include your partner in the things that you love to do. This will foster an emotional bonding and will make your partner feel that he / she is important enough in your life to share in the things that you love to do. ? Touch your partner in non-sexual ways: caress his / her arm, rub his / her shoulders or simply hold his / her hand.
? Ask your partner opinion on things that are important to you. ? Have a conversation about life, politics (assuming that you are on the same page as your partner is; otherwise, steer clear of these waters if you aren't on stable ground), friendship and family. These are just a very few things that you can do to deepen your friendship with your partner. Read books and study other relationships to find other ways to become more open about your feelings.
Jaci Rae is a #1 Best Selling author of Winning Points with the Woman in Your Life One Touchdown at a Time. Book Jaci for your next show: and hit contact button for her publicist.